Everyday I ask (pray) for opportunities to serve. To provide service of some kind. Some days I need to remind myself that I don’t get to pick and choose, that I need to do the things that are given to me with a willing heart. Its not always easy to do.

Came home from taking the kids to school, put finn down, did a few things then went to pick her up and noticed she was covered in black stuff. Then I noticed all around my living room was covered in black stuff. Not just black stuff but ash from the fireplace - nice way to spend the morning.

Went to the gym did 15 minutes on the stairs and called it good for the day. Only have 8138 steps for the day, and now realizing it is not good for the day. Tomorrow will be better.

Proceed with caution
Not fear

I did not go the gym today, or perform any kind of physical activity. I ate left over macaroni and cheese for lunch - not the healthiest of choices, but it was only 300 calories and within my calorie allowance. I made ‘cookies’ this morning after seeing a recipe on pinterest. I don’t even know if I can call them cookies. I had all of the 4 ingredients here so I thought I should make them cause after all they were low calorie. Note to self - not everything on pinterest is a good idea, also, not everything low calorie is a good idea. This is day number 2 that I have eaten really well. So yay for that. And I still have time if I choose to exercise today. 

I started on tumblr to document and be accountable even if no one was reading, I still needed to be accountable. My tumblr is katiescountdown because I was going to count down the pounds. I was fat when I started and I am still fat. I posted my first post with my weight and my goals - I deleted it. I hated how I looked (still do) and how I felt - Ashamed and embarrassed (still am). It stops now! I can’t keep doing this dance - you know the one, where you start something and you do great for a  few weeks and then the motivation seems to just go away and so you stop and fall back into habits. Everything starts today. I may be posting occasionally about my progress - feel free to unfollow if you just don’t care. But encouragement will help. I will weigh in tomorrow morning and see if I have the guts to post the number and even a picture (fully clothed) 

Some people have serious deadlines, of really important things that need to get done. Me, I have to make a gizillion fabric flowers and attatch them to frames by the 21st. Oh the life of a stay at home mom.

I suggested a NO spend month. We get what we need, no extras. No magazines, no kindle purchases, no Target clearance purchases, no scholastic book warehouse sales, no bath and body sanitizing 5 for $15 hand soaps, no trips to Michaels to buy craft stuff, no amazon. WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING? I take it back, I take it back!!